PHILOSOPHICAL POINT OF VIEW OF MARRIEGE (1)

Philosophical look at marriage..........ONE.

     Entering marriage, a lot of people have fully expectation to have a happy marriage. Of course at the beginning of it those two will experience that happiness and  thought that is all it took. But for real they lost their way, the reality is that the initial passion will be taken off and the tough face will be on, on that tough face, if you don't take a good look philosophically in the said union, you will end up bickering the rest of your lives and get used to it the way you used to think of it.

    How you think about marriage profoundly impacts the quality of your marriage. A marriage filled with bickering and emptied of passion as many  thought this was normal they end-up resigned themselves to this fate. How sad though sometimes it has to be taken that way.

    Marriage does not need to give up so quickly. I undertook a deeper study of marriage and have come to embrace a “philosophy of marriage” that has given meaning to many struggles and which continues to provide an inspiration to this day. I have come to believe marriage is not supposed to be easy. A good marriage is not about cruising through life together, it’s about growing through life together, to mention a few it involve to forgive, to stay calm the time you feel dis obeyed, despised, forgotten rather than reacting in any way. Marriage is a “work in progress” what’s important is that to continue to make progress, Stagnation is the enemy.

Here, then, are three hallmarks of a healthy marriage:

1. Love is creative — not critical

What does it mean to love someone?

    Wife & husband have many failings. These failings were weighing us down early in their marriage. Then you came across this passage from the Polish playwright Karol Wojtyla you will understand more about this:

One does not love a person because it is easy.
Why does one love at all?…
[In the end] one question is important:
Is it creative?

    Creative! If one love his wife, that will build her up. that will make him focus on the “good and beautiful” in her and seek to draw that out of her. That will encourage her to become over their lifetime together, a more complete person. This is a creative love. Too many of us choose to go down the opposite path, we tear each other down and that is not right.

Banish bickering & boredom

    Bickering  pointing out each other’s flaws, again and again is the leading cause of divorce for couples married less than seven years. Boredom refer to a failure to be creative in love, in a deeper way is the leading cause of divorce for couples married less longer than seven years. I had thought that wife & husband were good as long as  they weren’t fighting, but “getting along” is not enough. Marriage is too long for that. In order for the couple to enjoy being married to each other for a lifetime, they need to keep their time together interesting, that means throughout their married life, they need to encourage each other to grow, they need to continually build each other up, they need to challenge each other, they need to work as a team to make their individual and shared dreams come true. That is a creative love.

2. Love is joyful — in good times and in bad times as well

    A second insight into what makes a marriage healthy came when that same Polish playwright argued love is joyful. Your home should be a happy home, day in and day out not just every now and then. At the time, couple hoping for a peaceful marriage. After a long day of work, all they wanted and thought was a quiet evening at home. But that does not meant to live peacefully together. Marriage does involve struggle but marriage is supposed to be joyful even in the midst of struggle.

“I will love you in good times and in bad”

Wife & husband made a promise, on their wedding day, to love each other in good times and in bad. When they made this promise, it is verry possible that every one of them thinking about the big bad times they might face and think is it possible for him or her to love his/her wife/husband even if the one diagnosed with cancer, experience heart attack and many other serious diseases, but the promise to love also applies to life’s many small bad days. I urge couples to truly live your wedding vows. Pay special attention during the “small bad days” of your life, as this is when you are least likely to love. Make a commitment to love more not less when you are tired, frustrated, stressed. Give each other the gift of a joyful marriage in good times and in bad times each and every day of your married life together. And there is no better moment to show your love for each other than the moment of reunion as well in bad moments like sickness. How you greet each other sets the tone for your marriage and family life. Always greet each other with joy and smile.

3. The purpose of marriage is to challenge you to grow — to grow as individuals and to grow together as a team

    Marriage is a long time to spend with one person, I have come to believe the only way to enjoy a married life together and each one among the couple grow as individuals and grow together as a team. In the early days of marriage, it didn’t take long for one to realize there is a need to get better at lots of things if wife was going to be happy living with a husband, They say you shouldn’t expect your spouse to change and there is wisdom in this but it is not wrong to ask.

Embrace growth — out of love for your spouse

    Most importantly, you should look at yourself. Out of love for your spouse, you should try to change. What gives marriage and family life its majesty is that it is an engine for growth, but growth is not automatic, growth needs to be embraced. Marriage is a great adventure and you will want to be in your marriage for a lifetime  if your marriage is motivating you to become a better and more complete person.

Don’t “get over it” — grow

    It is very wrong to believe that in marriage you need to get over it rather in Marriage you need to grow as an individual and or as a team, you can choose to live by this philosophy of marriage and I assure you will see the positive result:

    Marriage is about encouraging each other to grow. It’s about seeing challenges as opportunities to grow. It’s about growing as individuals and growing together as a team. It’s about embracing this hard work with a joyful and generous spirit in good times and in bad times as well.

                        "PUT THIS THEORY INTO PRACTICE"

Do you consider yourself WISE? As per Socratic wisdom, Platonic wisdom, Aristotelian wisdom.

 

Socratic Wisdom: The Importance of Knowledge for a Good Life

    Socrates is considered a paragon of wisdom to this day, even though he didn’t consider himself wise. When the Pythia at the Oracle of Delphi said that no one was wiser than Socrates, it only motivated him to engage even more in philosophical debate. This consciousness of his own ignorance propelled him to test the word of the Oracle.

    In many of his conversations, reconstructed especially in the works of Plato and Xenophon (430 – 354 B.C.E.), we encounter Socrates repeatedly putting the question of the good life in the center of his discussions. That is, he asks his interlocutors and himself: how to live well? However, many other times he addresses other questions, only secondary to this matter. Every reader of the early platonic dialogues knows that Socrates spends a lot of time discussing the virtues of courage or piety, for example.

    Already during Socrates’s lifetime, human virtue was associated with success, even though in the pre-philosophical traditions of ancient Greece, virtue wasn’t considered something completely under human control, and it was common to think that the favor of the gods could not be dismissed. 

    If we believe in what Plato says in his early dialogues (which are the main references for the analysis of Socrates’s thought), the relation between virtue and a good life, or at least between virtue and a life of success in some specific activity like war, navigation, or carpentry, wasn’t only suggested to Socrates by elements of his culture, but by his own independent reflection. His analysis is both simple and original: he begins by pondering everyday objects.

    This is why we see Socrates repeatedly speaking of tools and domestic utensils in the early platonic dialogues. Take knives as one example. For Socrates, the virtue of a knife is, obviously, to cut well. To do this, it needs to have some specific characteristics, like being sharp, having an adequate weight and providing a good grip, and so forth. It’s because of this specific set of characteristics that the knife can do what it is supposed to do well or virtuously. That is, it’s because of the presence of these characteristics that it can perform with excellence the proper function that is the end, or purpose, of it. Absent of these characteristics, a knife cannot be any good.

    We can apply the same concept to living beings. A good horse or a good dog are those that have the specific set of characteristics that enables them to fulfill the fullest expression of their potential as horses and dogs. The specific set of characteristics varies, of course, according to the nature of each thing. The main thing to note here is that this general thought pattern could be applied to humans too in determination of goodness(virtual/wisdom) or badness(not wise)

    That’s exactly what Socrates did, we can say that Socrates tried to answer the question of the good life starting from these considerations. For him, all human activities are conducted by reason or, as the ancient philosophers usually said, by the soul. More than that, Socrates thought that we are motivated to do what, at any time, appears to be good according to our minds (this thesis is known today as Socratic intellectualism).

    However, it’s evident that what seems to be good to us and what in fact is good for us are not always the same. For Socrates, that means that we can only act well, even in our own interest, when we have the knowledge of how to act well, that is, when we possess the knowledge of how things are, what is good, what to do to obtain and preserve these things, how to best utilize them, how to avoid what is bad, and so forth.

    That means that it is only when we know what is good, without error, that we can confidently act to obtain that good. Hence, human excellence is an excellence of the mind. That is a state where the mind is in possession of knowledge. That state of the mind is also what Socrates calls wisdom. In due respect of Socratic Philosophy on wisdom, do you believe that you are wise?

    One thing we can know for sure: Socrates was aware of our cognitive limitations as humans. He never thought that we can be wise – that is, completely wise, with our minds being in the possession of all possible knowledge. In his opinion, that is something that only the gods can achieve. Every knowledge we can acquire is only provisional and fallible. And not only that, but we also cannot know everything. All we can do is to keep searching, keep revising our concepts and conclusions. That is, all we can do is to search for wisdom or, in other words, to philosophize. Even if you believe that you are wise then it is much better to keep on searching for wisdom and philosophies about it, with or without the answer of the above question just keep on searching and philosophies about wisdom.

Platonic Wisdom: The Virtue of Philosophers in the Ideal City-state

    Socrates’s pupil Plato, of course, was also interested in epistemology and stated the practical importance of knowledge for human beings. The allegory of the cave theory is not meant to encourage ignorance, after all.  Here, however, I’ll only briefly explore what Plato has to say about wisdom in his most famous dialogue, the Republic.

    Like Socrates, Plato also was interested in thinking about the way to answer the question of the good life. However, not only does he not consider wisdom as the main virtue, but he also conceptualizes it completely differently. Plato traces a distinction between wisdom and knowledge almost like Socrates. But, for Plato, wisdom is something different than the state where the mind has perfect knowledge of everything.

    It’s important to consider his psychological theory, first if we want to understand his concept of wisdom and its place in his ethics. Plato thought that the human mind is divided into three parts: the rational part, the spirited part, and the appetitive part. Each is responsible for a function of the human mind: thinking, feeling, and desiring, respectively. Even though every mind is formed by these three parts, in each one of us – so the theory goes – one of these parts is always more prominent.

    As a consequence, Plato says that there are three types of character, which he presents in the myth of the three metals:  there are those that have souls made of gold (dominated by the rational part), those who have souls of silver (dominated by the spirited part) and those who have souls of bronze (dominated by the appetitive part).

    The platonic discussion of wisdom appears in the course of the exposition about the ideal city-state. It’s here that we find Plato’s idea that wisdom is a form that is, the capacity to give good advice, or for sound judgment. Far from being a universal virtue, available to all, this capacity is a form of intellectual excellence that can be achieved solely by trained philosophers, that is, for those who have a soul made of gold. In his ideal polis, those people should lead the government as kings or queens.

    It is for that reason, at least in the context of the Republic, that Plato considers that wisdom can be achieved only by some people who can submit to an extensive educational program. But, once they became governors, this virtue could confer benefits to all the citizens of the polis.

    As for the individuals with souls of silver or bronze, even though we can assume that Plato would concede that they could develop some degree of wisdom in some limited affairs, they would never be able to be wise to other affairs hence not wise. Determine yourself as per Plato, do you consider yourself wise?

Aristotelian Wisdom: Two Virtues Instead of One 

    In his Nicomachean Ethics, Book VI, Aristotle presents a more detailed account of wisdom than that of his predecessors. It’s interesting to consider some other basic aspects of his ethics before we enter into his discussion of wisdom.

    For Aristotle. Like Plato, Aristotle didn’t believe that all human beings have the same capacity for virtue. Unlike Plato, he thought that only those who received a good education, from childhood to early adulthood, could become virtuous one day. That’s a sine qua non for him: a necessary condition. However, this initial education could only raise decent people. True virtue requires a special kind of practical knowledge and education. And that, in fact, is what Aristotle aims to provide with his ethical theory.

    Aristotle also thought that the human mind is divided into three parts: the rational, the sensitive, and the vegetative. It would be impossible to discuss all of the nuances that differentiate his psychological theory from Plato’s here; for our purposes, I’ll only highlight that Aristotle thought that human virtue was the same for all human beings (well, at least for all the aristocratic Greeks that formed his main body of students). That means, in other words, that Aristotle considered virtue to be more accessible than Plato thought it was.

    According to Aristotelian ethics, human virtue could be divided into two general categories: intellectual virtues and moral virtues (or virtues of character). And, in Aristotle’s opinion, wisdom is not one virtue, but two distinct intellectual virtues. That is, for Aristotle, there are two kinds of wisdom. I’ll explain them later. Let’s first get a better grasp of what moral virtues are.

    Moral virtues are related to the irrational aspects of the human soul, like sentiments and desires – it’s here that we find virtues like courage and generosity. Aristotle thought that when guided by the rational part of the soul – that is, when our irrational dispositions are regulated by reason (orientated by the doctrine of the mean) – these dispositions become virtuous. If our irrational dispositions are well-regulated by reason, we feel and desire in a way that is most adequate to our nature as human beings.

    Training our dispositions is not easy. It requires a lot of effort and time. But, as Aristotle himself says, even if we acquire moral virtues, their possession is not sufficient to live a virtuous life. We need to correctly apply them in the different circumstances that life presents to us. That is, we need to be sensitive to the specific ethical dimensions of our circumstances; we need to know what we should prioritize at the moment of action; we have to know what we should do to achieve that end, and how, in detail (if possible), we can do it. And that’s an intellectual capacity, one that Aristotle calls practical wisdom or prudence.

    Practical wisdom, however, cannot be acquired in the same way as moral virtues. While it’s possible to be brave and imprudent, Aristotle thought that it’s not possible to be practically wise without full comprehension about the human good, including the possession of all the moral virtues. True practical wisdom is not a domain-specific ability. It requires full comprehension of what is good for a human being in general and in all aspects of one’s life, in all the different phases of one’s life. It’s the end goal of a person’s moral development.

    Thus, practical wisdom is different from the other kind of wisdom that exists: theoretical wisdom (sophia). While practical wisdom is general knowledge about the good for human beings, as human beings, theoretical wisdom is a different type of knowledge. Sophia is knowledge about the most excellent beings of the cosmos, the most general categories of Being, the laws of nature – and so forth. To have it is to possess an excellent comprehension of the universein which we live. And that’s a purely theoretical matter.

    So, in the light of all that, what’s the happiest life a human being can live? How does Aristotle answer the philosophical question about the good life? Aristotle thought that the happiest life is the contemplative life of the philosopher who has both kinds of wisdom. That’s because theoretical knowledge provides him with a kind of good in itself, a good that cannot be used to achieve any of the other human goods. In second place, there is the life of the practically virtuous citizen, who doesn’t have sophia but is guided by phrónesis, and thus, they can achieve a happy human life.

     We saw the contextual reasons that made Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle reflect on wisdom, along with their different concepts of it. Their aim was practical, since they were interested in finding an answer to the question: how can we live well? In this context, “wisdom” generally is meant to refer to some kind of connection between knowledge and action, to some mental capacity that enables us to better orient ourselves in the world that we live in because of the knowledge that we have.

                        "DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF WISE"

ACCEPT THE UNACCEPTABLE TOWARD LAW OF ATRACTION FOR POSITIVE RESULT

 

What Is The Law Of Attraction & How Does It Work?

    The Law of Attraction defines your ability to attract, into your life, what you focus on.
Whatever you can imagine is achievable, if you take action on a plan to get to where you want to be. The true definition of the Law of Attraction is like attracts like. Whatever you give your emotional energy and attention to, is what will come back to you. Do you often ask yourself “Is the Law of Attraction real?”.

    The answer is yes. The Law of Attraction is like gravity. You see it every minute of every day. It is always influencing and impacting you and your life. The Law of Attraction governs everything within our abundant Universe. It does not discriminate. It only exists with perfection whether you like it or not. You right now are being guided by universal forces to finally understand how manifest whatever it is that you put your mind to. Every moment of your life you are creating your own reality. With every conscious thought, you are creating your present and your future.

    Whatever you can imagine in your mind’s eye is achievable, but only if you take action on a plan to get what you want. If you focus on negative thoughts and bad outcomes, then you will attract them. If you focus on positive thoughts, have goals, and have a plan, then this is what you will manifest.

The Three Laws of Attraction

1. Like Attracts Like

    The Law of Attraction in its most simple form is like attracts like. This means that things, objects, or people with similar energy attract each other. This happens every moment of every day whether you are aware of it or not. This energy shifting occurs when you attract similar experiences, people or things to you. Positive thought, and emotion, will attract positive things or experiences. The reverse is also true. Negative thoughts, and emotions, will attract negative things or experiences into your life.

    You will also gravitate to things, people, or situations that have the same energy as you feel too. Whether positive or negative in nature, this will only magnify the vibration you feel. It's important to remember that thoughts become things. The thoughts we have and the choices we make reflect back into our world and become our reality. You will attract, or manifest what you think about, so it is best to go about this with clear intention. Be careful of your thoughts and what you are thinking and feeling. Surround yourself with the kind of people that make you feel great, that you want to grow with, or become more like.

2. Nature Abhors a Vacuum

    According to the ancient philosopher Aristotle, “Nature abhors a vacuum”. He observed that nature requires all space to fill with something. Even if that something is colourless, odourless air. It is impossible to have empty space in your mind or life. Empty space will fill with whatever you attract, whether you like it or not.

    Remove what you don't want in your life and make room for positive things to replace them.The best way to think of this is to remember how good it feels to tidy a desk, a cupboard or a room. You remove the clutter. You throw out or recycle what you don't need. After cleaning you replace everything with new, clean, tidy things. Your mind becomes clear. Your mood is brighter, and you feel positive.

3. The Present is Always Perfect

    Whatever is happening in the present is a direct result of your past choices and decisions. Surrender to what is. The past is the past and you have infinite possibilities in the future, so accept what is in the present. It may seem imperfect, and you may feel unhappy, but you should focus your mind on being positive. Enjoy the present for the perfect moment that it is.

How Does The Law Of Attraction Work?

    The Law of Attraction is always working, every single second of every day. Furthermore, it is reacting to how you act, all the time, without regard to whether you are acting in a positive or negative way. If you believe, and know, that you deserve good things then you will start acting a certain way. You will set great goals. You will make plans to meet the exact person you need to meet. Without thinking, you will put yourself in situations that will lead to exactly where you need to be. Some of these things that happen to you will feel like mysterious synchronicity signs or moments of serendipity, but they aren't. The Law of Attraction is giving you exactly what you think you deserve. I.e. more of what you want and more of what you know you deserve.

    If you have limiting beliefs and think that you don't deserve something, this will reflect in your behaviours. You'll act in a way that won't put you in situations that will result in anything positive. You'll use negative language or have a negative attitude. You won't notice perfect timing. You won't end up in the right place at the right time. The Law of Attraction is giving you exactly what you think you deserve. I.e. in effect, less of what you want, because you know you don't deserve it and are acting exactly in this way.

How To Use The Law Of Attraction

    So, how do you get started with the Law of Attraction? Realize first, that you are already using the Law of Attraction. Or that it is always reacting to you, to whatever you are thinking and doing. Where you are today is a direct result of your past thoughts, your goals, your choices, and your decisions. The Law of Attraction is always working. So how do you start using it for things you actually want?To incorporate the Law of Attraction into your own life, start with this simplified list:

• Identify and choose exactly what you want to manifest
• Visualize your exact desired future life
• Practice daily gratitude for the present
• Reframe past and present situations from negative to positive
• Start practicing daily meditation
• Start daily or weekly writing in your gratitude journal

There are many ways you can start using the Law of Attraction. Learning how to apply these is simple and they take a small amount of effort to start integrating into your day. Spread your positivity to your loved ones too. This will allow yourself to open up to receive their love and support.

Creative Visualization

    The best way to starting to apply the Law of Attraction is through creative visualization. It is the most powerful tool for manifesting exactly what you want. Why? Because in the same way as setting a goal, you first decided exactly what you want in great detail. This exact act of deciding something sets you off on a unique path. It's exactly like choosing a destination and using sat-nav to get there.

        Create a mental picture in your mind of the reality you want. Imagine in your mind’s eye what this looks like. Visit this reality in your imagination. What does it make you feel? Feel the emotions. What does this place or experience or thing smell like? What does it sound like? What does it feel like to touch? What does it make you feel inside? Answer these questions whist you are imagining it.

        Lastly, the law of attraction also works even in the experience of difficult situation, you just accept the situation and take the said situation in positive way hence you will start to feel positive vibe which led to positive result as a response of the universe from the way your mind thinking of what is before you.

                  "BE POSITIVE EVEN IN WORSE SITUATION IN YOUR LIFE"